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Once there was a boy named Robert Leslie "Free Sex" Parka Leggings Polo-shirt Pullover Stine, but everyone called him Bob. As a child, he played with Barbies, and constantly told people he was going to knock their noses off. As a troubled teen, he sat on road sides shouting "Free sex, free sex!" (whereon he received his 1st middle name.) Deciding to change his ways, he proposed to the first woman he saw. Thus, he received a slap on the face. Two weeks and dozens of slaps later, he married a close cousin of the family, Jane (she was hideous and 20 years his senior) and got dog from the pound named Nadine. Jane and Bob had a baby just after Bob decided to start writing stories. After many attempts, Bob was ready to give up (all he did was *help* write books). But one morning, he heard a scream from outside. Seeing a disgusting scene of blood and gore on the street, Bob decided to start writing horror stories. Obsessed by certain articles of clothing (which happened to be included in his name) and sickening noises, he wrote his gross tales under the name R.L. Stine. The Barbie boy had grown up! Now his stories are read nationwide, and watched on a TV show. R.L. constantly lumbers/waddles. |
