Our Drummers

Our Drummers

Stranger in the Basement


	The Drummer Dilemma: Only the fittest will survive. Please note We at majoranatomy do not condone the molestation of fat people as shown above. Help us win the fight against FatMolestation. Send us a dollar or pictures of old men. Okay, so here's the deal. If you read our home page, you'd know a little about our drummer situation. But we made a long story short. So here it is for you in full. Read on. It's like a Soap Opera. Sex, love, ambition, beastiality. . .it's got it all. Our journey begins with the inception of MajorAnatomy. Originally, the band consisted of four female members: Bri, Lo, Sonny and Cher. Sonny and Cher's lack of ambition caused them to be dropped. Bri & Lo decided that all they needed was one new member-a drummer. They thought and drank and thought and drank. And when they sobered up, the answer was clear. Conel.

	Ian was a great addition to MajorAnatomy. He is hilarious, and is close to achieving a mullet. But Ian had some freaky fetishes. His fondness for a sheep named Daisy and Lo's brother's best friend Mike was just weird. Needless to say, Ian was dropped.
	After this little episode, Major Anatomy was very up in the air. The drummer position needed to be replaced; and fast! They considered many people, and decided that in order to get someone with raw talent, they would have to steal someone from another band. This is where the next saga in the trilogy that would be anatomy was formed. Even though a trilogy has only three parts, whereas this has many. Therefore, Bri = On crack. Bri on crack, right This led to the choosing of Adam Mimmohn. Adam has been in many bands. He plays drums at the home of the HONBUCs, and we had our beady eyes on him for awhile. This may have frightened him. But before he could even join the band, Bri and Lo found some not so promising problems with him. Lo & Bri decided to dismiss the fact for the moment. They could always lock Adam in a cage after performances. But then they found it. The incriminating evidence of Adam holding none other but a Dilan Dog tape. Immediate dismissal from the band followed. There is nothing better than raw talent. Except maybe sweet band hair. We decided that since incest is best, we must look within our own families. Although Kyle does have some pretty sweet band hair, he is evil, so we went for the next best thing, Caitlin(Bri's sister). Her band potential can be shown in one picture; how can anyone who walks like this NOT be a sweetsweetaddition? right* The drummer situation was starting to look very grim. Bri & Lo were losing all hope. . .but they knew what they had to do. They had to find the hottest drummer ever. One that was already successful. And you of course know the answer to that question. Yuri Ruley. right Bri & Lo rehired the detective who went through Yuri's confidential files (normally meant for the principal in the Breakfast Club). He found that Yuri had not been in between bands when the girls found him, but was an escapee from a mental institution! This picture was snapped by Lo when they told him he was out of the band. He bit her. She got rabies. right But one day, the girls took a trip with their old bandmate, Ian. They realized that Daisy was actually pretty hot. And since they kiss each other (see the talk to us page for a picture), they decided him kissing Mike wasn't TOO bad. Plus he was funny. right Therefore, MajorAnatomy was reborn. To find out all about MA, click on the MA link below! MajorAnatomy		Adam was, in Layman's terms, a ladies' and man's man. He believed in the molestation of fat people (see top of page for our thoughts on that) and started a new club with Hoggy (she started feeding him donuts to fatten him up). We could not use him, because he took away all our men. What is the fun of being in a band where you can't get guys? But despite the sweetwalk, the awesome band hair and the fact that Cait was going to the University of Western Ontario for music, she had some dirty secrets. She was not only a male underwear model, but a total slut as well. Plus she was trying to be Dan Akroyd, and that's just not cool. left Everything toppled when Lo hired a professional detective to follow Cait around. He snapped this shot--Cait, the dirty whore, had seduced Lo's #1 husband Colm. They got it on in a sleeping bag! Now that is low. left Bri & Lo came to the conclusion that with the papa and mamarazzi following their every moves, they had to dismiss Cait from the band. They couldn't have affairs and playgirl pictures surfacing years from now. And with the big lawsuit Dan Akroyd had just slapped on them. . .Cait was fired. Yuri was showing the best potential so far. He was professional, he could play extremely well, he wasn't a slut, he didn't promote other bands over his, and he definitely did not sleep with animals! But when his ex-MxPx band members gave Bri & Lo this collage. . .they were a little disturbed by the picture of him wearing the purple lipstick. . .what was going on? left Bri & Lo decided that since randomly choosing drummers wasn't working, that they would have auditions. A new MA was born when a new drummer, Lex Van De Berghe joined the group. He was fresh, he was hip, he was a crazy cat who knew how to jam. And make jam (try his strawberry, it's good). Anyway, the group was taking off. They got new t-shirts made and everything. But one day, Lex got a letter. He was being shipped off. No, not to join the army, but to Survivor. He left in tears. Whether or not it was because we threw salt in his eyes, we'll never know. left

	*Band Hair is formed when you take all of your hair and brush it forward.