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A guide to sweet sweet John(ny Boy) Nonanaway*-- The coolest/drunkest dad EVER! *name changed for privacy DISCLAIMER: No John's were hurt in the making of this site. Only annoyed, disrupted, made fun of, laughed at, and in many other ways bothered. Asking questions about Uncle Garth's mullet make John ANGRY! Ah yes, evil father. What would we ever do without him? Ever since that fateful May he first took us camping, the tormenting has not ceased. Has he learned his lesson? Probably. . .although he DOES agree to take us camping every year. Maybe he enjoys the torment. Maybe he's afraid of what will happen next. In any case, this page is not only in celebration of dear J. Ho, but also another fun way to make fun of him. Mou ah ha haaaaa! Since the beginning of Laura's life, John has been crazy. He liked to do things like swing Kyle around by his arms until it popped out of the socket, or push Laura on the swing until she was forced to jump off. He used to play this game called "How high will baby bounce?". He would stand Laura on his shoulders, and let her fall off, then measure how high she would bounce. *above* Although the root of all his craziness cannot be fully determined, we have come down to one final decision: he wanted to be Sonny Bono and realized that his dream would never come true. Because only one person can be Sonny Bono, and that is Bruce Springsteen. *John = Sonny above* This picture is self-explanatory. He's sitting on his niece. How sweet is that? *above* This brings us to the next question: what to cover next? It is a toss up between drunkeness and camping. I think I'll go with. . .camping. Look at him. . .so innocent and naive. Little did he realize that Lo & Bri had many plans up their sleeves. This picture was taken at the infamous Logging museum at Algonquin park, the choice camping place of thousand innocent and unsuspecting fathers. *above* Camping with us takes skill. You must be extremely lazy, enjoy R.L. Stine books, love Timber Trail and be able to put up with our antics. Oh yeah, and we like it if you'll kill bugs for us. Our greatest antic of all time would have to be the time we dyed John's hair gold with hair mascara(there were no showers at our campsite!). Although we'd like to pretend that it took a lot of skill, or to save his dignity we say he was asleep, but really that's a lie. We just threw a towel over his face, told him we were playing with his hair and he knew nothing. Until we laughed so hard we had to show him.  Every year we go to the logging museum. It's kind of a ritual. We look in the gift store. Then we go in to watch the movie. We make fun of it while John falls asleep sitting up. Then we walk through the museum. We take many pictures and play pooh sticks. We always take a picture of us stirring the pot. We agreed that next year, John should get in the pot while we are stirring. This will make for what we call "Greasy Stew" *above*  Timber Trail is a place we love to go. It includes the Paddle Inn restaurant, which is our favourite place to eat. Many many times we have made deals with John to take us there. One time we agreed to go on the Mizzy Lake Trail (which is 11 km long, why he believed that we would walk all that way, we don't know) if he took us there. But while we shopped in the store, John downed 9 beers. He drove crazily down the road to Mizzy Lake Trail. We feared he may even start driving down the trail, hitting innocent people and evil birds that try to kill us. Anyway, it is rare for us to catch John doing crazy drunken things on camera. This was one of the few times. He was acting as his alter ego "Cool Nerd" and getting drunk off of orange juice and vodka. Oh dear. *above*  Then there was the bug issue. One time while camping, Lo was trying to sleep on one side of the bed while Briana was reading on the other. Suddenly, she noticed a giant spider on her!! She woke Lo and jumped off the bed. Lo woke John and said "Dad, there's a spider, will you come kill it?" His response? "No." After they were rid of the spider, there was a giant moth. Then another camping trip, a huge june bug. And who got rid of these bugs? Mostly Lo, but Bri helped. John? Did not help. Therefore, we sentence him to stand in a corner. *above* Or get lost in the woods for five years. |
